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Let’s get real for a second. Have you ever found yourself endlessly swiping on dating apps, looking for "the one," only to be ghosted? Or worse, chatting for weeks with someone only to realize in person they're nothing like how they project themselves to the world? Yeah, me too. And I’m done.
It wasn’t an easy decision to delete the apps. The dopamine rush of a new match, the witty banter, and the possibility of meeting someone incredible—it all felt exciting. But let’s be honest: it’s also exhausting, superficial, and, most of the time, unfulfilling. So, I did it. I deleted the apps.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Why I Deleted My Dating Apps
The Idea of a "Year of Lonely"
Dating Apps: A Superficial Swiping Circus
The Swipe Culture Trap
How Dating Apps Distract You
The Joy of Quitting the Chase
Reclaiming Time and Energy
Refocusing on Personal Goals
Why Relationships Don’t Define You
Breaking the Myth of Romantic Happiness
Building a Relationship with Yourself
Embracing Solitude: The Most Valuable Time You’ll Ever Spend
The Magic of Solitude
Finding Your “Why”
Why Being Alone Isn’t the Same as Being Lonely
The Difference Between Alone and Lonely
The Fulfilment of Self-Reliance
Technology Detox: Taking Back Control
The Role of Technology in Loneliness
Setting Healthy Digital Boundaries
Why You Should Try a Year of Lonely
Breaking Free from External Validation
Focusing on Goals and Passions
The Takeaway
Embracing Lonely as Growth
A Call to Action: Your Year of Self-Awareness
Conclusion
Rediscovering Contentment
Making 2025 the Year of Living Fully
And now, I’m embracing what I’m calling “The Year of Lonely.”
Except here’s the twist: I don’t see loneliness as the villain. I see it as an opportunity—a gift, even. This isn’t about being bitter or cynical. It’s about hitting the pause button on the distractions, the noise, and the endless scrolling to focus on something far more valuable: myself.
Dating Apps: A Superficial Swiping Circus
Dating apps are like a carnival. They lure you in with promises of fun and excitement, but before you know it, you’re stuck on the teacup ride, dizzy from the endless rotation of profiles that blend together. Height? Swipe. Job? Swipe. Mirror selfie in a bathroom? Swipe left and never look back.
I found myself trapped in a loop of superficiality, where looks, height, and money seem to be the holy trinity of desirability. I can’t tell you how many times I felt reduced to a few bullet points in a bio. For many women it's"6’2"- Check. Good job? Check. Decent jawline? Alright, you get a swipe."
But the bigger issue isn’t the apps themselves. It’s what they represent: a distraction. They pull us away from ourselves, from what really matters. They encourage us to chase external validation when we should be building internal confidence.
The Joy of Quitting the Chase
So, I quit. I hit delete on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and all their algorithmic cousins. And in that moment, something clicked: I realized how much energy I’d been pouring into the pursuit of someone else, rather than into myself.
This year, I’m not chasing anyone. Instead, I’m chasing my own goals. I’m reclaiming the energy I used to spend crafting the perfect opening line or analyzing why someone unmatched me and putting it into things that actually matter:
Growing my business.
Spending more time with my son.
Hitting the gym and feeling stronger every day.
Writing more to share my journey and hopefully inspire others.
It’s not about giving up on love; it’s about pressing pause and choosing to focus on me.
Why Relationships Don’t Define You
One of the biggest lies we’re sold is that a romantic relationship is the ultimate source of happiness. Movies, songs, and Nicholas Sparks novels have hammered this into us for decades. But here’s the thing: relationships are amazing, but they’re not the be-all and end-all of life.
If you’re relying on someone else to fill the gaps in your self-esteem or make you feel whole, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. True happiness comes from within. It’s cliché but true.
I’ve been in relationships where I lost myself, where I bent over backwards to be what someone else needed while ignoring my own needs. And let me tell you, that’s a one-way ticket to burnout. This year, I’m focusing on building a relationship with the most important person in my life: me. And my beautiful son.
Embracing Solitude: The Most Valuable Time You’ll Ever Spend
There’s something magical about solitude. It forces you to confront yourself—the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s uncomfortable at first, but it’s also where growth happens.
Nietzsche once said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Solitude is where you find your “why.” It’s where you get clear on your purpose, your passions, and your values. It’s where you learn to love your own company and realize you don’t need anyone else to make you feel complete.
For me, this year is about self-awareness. It’s about figuring out what brings me peace, joy, and contentment without relying on external validation.
Why Being Alone Isn’t the Same as Being Lonely
There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is a feeling of lack; it’s the ache of wanting connection. But being alone is a choice, a state of mind where you’re perfectly content with your own company.
It’s like the difference between eating because you’re starving and eating because you’re savouring a delicious meal. One comes from desperation; the other comes from fulfilment.
This year, I’m learning to savour my own company. I’m learning to enjoy the silence, the stillness, and the freedom that comes with not being tethered to anyone else’s expectations.
Technology Detox: Taking Back Control
Let’s not forget the role technology plays in all this. Dating apps are just one piece of the puzzle. Social media, constant notifications, and endless scrolling—they all keep us trapped in a cycle of distraction.
This year, I’m not just deleting dating apps; I’m reclaiming my relationship with technology. I’m setting boundaries, being intentional about how I use my phone, and focusing on real-life connections.
As Ryan Reynolds might say, “Technology’s great—until it isn’t.” It’s time to stop letting my phone dictate my life and start using it as a tool for good.
Why You Should Try a Year of Lonely
If you’re reading this and feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or constantly chasing the next “thing” to make you happy, I encourage you to try a year of lonely.
Take a break from dating. Step away from the noise. Focus on yourself, your goals, and your passions. Use this time to rediscover who you are and what you want out of life.
As Ricky Gervais said, “Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right.” And just because society tells you that being single is a problem doesn’t mean it is.
The Takeaway
This year, I’m embracing lonely, but I don’t see it as loneliness. I see it as freedom, as growth, as an opportunity to become the best version of myself.
So, what about you? Are you ready to hit pause on the chase and focus on what really matters? Are you ready to embrace a year of lonely?
Let’s do this together. Let’s make 2025 the year we stop swiping, start living, and discover what it truly means to be content.
Here’s to a year of self-awareness, peace, and joy. Cheers.
Matt Jones is the founder of Life 2.0, a platform dedicated to helping people achieve their goals, redefine their purpose, and create a well-rounded life. He’s the author of the book Life 2.0 and the host of the Life 2.0 Podcast, where he shares actionable strategies, inspiring stories, and personal insights on self-growth and transformation.
Matt is passionate about empowering others to live their best lives—one goal at a time.
Nice article, helpful